Tsssssshhh

Today’s snow is tiny, tiny crystals of diamond ice which whisper and touch as they fall on the previously-fallen snow and on each other. The whole night is full of them and I want it to go on and on and I want the night to hang on for a few more hours —

It is lovely.

A dream journal

is absolutely the right tool for the job — I dream so rarely that I know of, the practice of observing anything at all will help —
and all I have written so far is “I don’t remember any images or actions, but there was a pervading sense of peace”
over and over for days

Which is lovely, of course.

Is it true?
When I’m home safe and asleep in my bed, do I dream about being home safe and asleep in my bed?

It’s early.

Still-dark early
with a bit of moon-glow, but only a light touch.

I look around and see worry and striving or
lonely depression or
pandemic,

But for some reason they are not mine.
I am in the right place.
I am in the right work.
I am loving the right people.

I am making progress on cleaning the attic, which is absolutely proof of miracles. Sit with me and I’ll tell you about the correlation between how my house looks and how my mental health is going.

We cleared out a box labeled 1993 this weekend, that’s how long and how deep has been this struggle.

And it’s early yet.

Sunday morning

Sgiob is singing a little song to herself,
something to do with chasing the bouncy ball
and having a cool stone lintel to lie on when she gets too warm.

The sound is close to a purr,
tonal
and it is both comforting and nostalgic.

Something about “this lovely life,
yet I have memories which are not mine
of great flocks and open places.”

We stumbled around a bit this morning,

Very, very early,
before I was fully awake
and the wonderful thing is that we found the soccer ball.

The soccer ball is full, full, full and frozen stiff this time of year,
so Max must catch it and roll it with his chest and tummy
and sometimes overruns it
and tumbles tail-over-snout
and then rolls in the snow
and we all laugh and laugh.

That puts the sparkly diamond on the day even before it has begun.