November 12

It seems like freezing rain on top of this small snow.

I don’t know a freezing rain from a rain and freeze, but it’s tiny ice when it hits my face and water a quarter-second later, so let’s just say that I’m grateful not to be driving for a while.

The sand truck drove by when the dogs and I were out, lights flashing.

There’s a morning train at about five, and it’s over in Vermont, but we can feel it here rumbling the valley. I only notice it if I’m awake.

The soccer ball’s air has expanded so that it’s no longer easy to pick up; they were happy to chase nubby ball but had no interest in it once it held still.
Herded into place, I suppose.

Good morning, grey and lovely November.

November 10th

Sweet, deep, peaceful sleep
Apparently I was tired.

How has this culture so taught us not to know our bodies’ own sensations
that we eat on a schedule or a whim
and sleep as though it is an interruption
and are oblivious to danger
and are practical about love.

Mama Bear shakes her head in wonderment.
Eat salmon,
Eat blueberries,
Drink stream,
Sleep.

November 7

It’s coming apart in a very genteel way.
I’m happy.
I’m having a good life.
But I see the signs.

November, my old challenge…

Let’s begin again.

I am grateful for sunrise.
I am grateful for warm dogs.
I am grateful for this warm and cozy home.
I am grateful for extraordinary children.
I am grateful for my sweet, sweet loved one.

November Sixth

I gave myself homework,
To write out three different pieces of poetry which speak to me,
and to try to read them aloud to myself.

Naturally, this project took me to the Oxford English Dictionary.

desideratum, n.
Forms: Plural desiderata.
Something for which a desire or longing is felt; something wanting and required or desired.

“desideratum, n.” OED Online, Oxford University Press, September 2019, www.oed.com/view/Entry/50832. Accessed 6 November 2019.

Words save my soul.

October 27th

I can tell that it’s coming,
the dead make such a noise in my head.

In the end, though, they will hush and settle. Most of them only need to be told,
“Yes, someone will remember.”
“Yes, I will tell your story.”
“Yes, it will be all right, just you see!”

And then I’ll sit
out on the lawn
with a small cauldron fire
and have a beer with my dad and all the good dogs.